What I wanted more than anything else

What I wanted, more than anything else, at the time, was to go to my favorite bar, and drink.
My plan was to walk there after work, drink the cheapest beer they had for about 4 hours, then take the subway home. And that was what I did, at the end of every workday, for months.
At the end of it, I felt trapped by what I wanted. I began going to the library after work, until closing time - usually 8:45 PM - and then walking to the bar. This was a way to cut down on my drinking hours.
I also went into shops that had signs posted looking for part time help, and looked around at their layout, merchandise, etc. I planned on getting a second job, to keep me busy during the evening hours when I would otherwise be drinking, and start paying off some of my debt.
I felt an overwhelming fear when it was time to speak to any of the store owners, and never got the second job. I did learn a lot about the merchandise they carried, and got accustomed to being closely watched by employees; I'm sure I looked like a shoplifter.